My Journey to Motherhood
Our first pregnancy 5 years ago was very much planned. My husband I had been married for 4 years before deciding to try for a baby. I can be a very impatient person when it comes to things I really want and at that time I really really wanted a baby.
The first month we tried for a baby, we just winged it and had fun. Tried to enjoy the baby making process. We always worried about getting pregnant on accident and for some reason I just figured it would happen right away after we stopped preventing. That month after a disappointing negative pregnancy test, I realized just how much I wanted it to be positive and how ready and impatient I felt to start our family.
Next month, I got more serious about it. I downloaded all the ovulation calculator apps and started using ovulation kits. And then the week the app turned pink it was go time and I figured this is it, we are going to make a baby!
Two weeks later and another negative pregnancy test I felt so sad and crushed. Logically, I knew that it takes a lot longer for most couples to conceive. I was young, healthy and there was no reason why I couldn’t get pregnant in the coming months. But still the emotional part of me couldn’t help but be heartbroken about it.
The third month. This is when I got really serious about it. I was on a mission. and I was going to get pregnant that month. I continued on with the ovulation tests and apps. A friend of mine who had just gotten pregnant the month before gave me the advice to go on a schedule. Not the most romantic way to go about it but desperate times, call for desperate measures.
Apparently there is such a thing as having too much sex when you are trying to get pregnant. You think the more the better right? Wrong. After some research on the subject, I discovered that waiting a day in between can help increase sperm count. So basically between day 10 and 20 of my cycle we tried every other day, once a day. On my most fertile day, we went to church with some friends and I prayed. I prayed for God to bless me with a baby. At this point I wasn’t worried about the gender or anything else, all I wanted and prayed for was a healthy baby.
Two weeks later on February 13th I took a pregnancy test. It was one of the digital ones that show either a plus (pregnant) or a minus (negative). I stared at the test vigilantly the whole 3 minute wait time, picked it up and instantly felt so confused. In the right light I could see the faintest vertical line forming a plus. But it was so faint I felt like my mind playing tricks on me because I wanted it to be positive so badly.
That day I went and bought 3 more digital tests that read pregnant or not pregnant. I was over with line guessing and just wanted an answer. The next morning Valentine’s Day, I woke up before my husband and took the pregnancy test. This day has always had special meaning to us because my husband proposed to me on Valentine’s Day 5 years before that.
I was trying to prepare myself that the test could very well be negative again. I was completely shocked, surprised and over the moon excited when clear as day that test read ‘Pregnant’.
We had done it and were about to start our own little family! I really felt that this was going to be our month to conceive. So earlier in the month I had bought a little gender neutral outfit and the book “Dad is pregnant too” for my husband. I quickly put those items in a gift bag along with the positive pregnancy test and when my husband finally woke up I was able to give him his Valentine’s Day present.
He was slightly confused when he saw the outfit and book but once he noticed the test it all made sense. You don’t see him get emotional all that often but that morning he was so happy and excited and he cried tears of joy. That night we went to celebrate in the same restaurant he took me to the night he proposed and I felt like we had come full circle from a couple to a family.
I realize how lucky we are because we only tried for 3 months but those months felt like some of the longest of my life. To all couples out there trying to get pregnant, I know the journey can be hard and I’m sending you my best wishes. I hope this is your month!